its not about happiness or enjoyment or solving your problems.
its about learning, watching from an inside perspective whether it exists or not.

its taken for granted.
its misused.
its mainstream.

that is my perspective.

people take advantage of wonderful resources turning them into dim stupidity and monotony. it makes me sick.


i feel like im bipolar, constantly with the swings of mood which depend on the happenings in my life. although lately, depression has been piled upon me like noodles piling on a plate with one tiny speck of dust crushed by the steamy warmness.

i'm too sensitive.
i over think.
i inspect every little detail.
there's no escape, no prevention for anyone to what i might think. i'll think it, and no one will even know....
but i will.
and if something is noticed, then i pretend i don't know.
because its just useless.

the tiny things are always there, and I guess that's what being an artist is all about. seeing the small things that normal people are oblivious to. although it always kills me, it brings me down when no one sees these small things that I consider important.

maybe its me thats the problem....

no.
its definetly me.

i'm too passive
too tolerant
too polite
too shy
too quiet

i can't change who i am i guess. but at least i can admit to myself.

my dreams constantly tell me that i should change my life style.
my dreams read me correctly.
but i'm scared.
and once again too tolerant.

i tolerate one thing after another
over and over
over and over
over and over

things will fall into place.
and when the last bubble bursts,
it will happen.